Current mood:

confused

What The Hell Is Going On Today?
Something is in the air today and I have no idea what it is. The reason I say that is because I don't usually have random men approach me and rap to me when I'm in my scrubs and I just got out of the hospital after a long 12.5 hour shift because I'm not a pretty sight.

My hair is rumpled from the hideous lovely masks I wear when I'm on the isolation side or when I need a barrier between my nose and whatever it is I'm smelling. My eyeliner has either come off completely because I've rubbed my eyelids throughout the day (my eyes are really irritated whenever I'm at work and only at work. I'd say I'm allergic to work but what I think it's actually the reverse air thingy that blows air out from my unit into stairway) or I've smudged the eyeliner around my eyes in an accidental smoky eye look. Totally unintentional. Usually the whole smoky-come-hither eyeliner thing is pretty hot but when I'm at work and it smudges, I actually end up achieving the Tired Panda look. So sexy am I.

Most people either cut a wide berth around me but today was like a day spent in the Twilight Zone. I went to the supermarket to pick up some toothpaste and milk. On my way in, I notice these two tall, gangly looking boys and boxes of candy beside them. Whatever. I was on the phone with my mom and telling her about Zetta Kareshi so they didn't bother me. However, totally different story on my way out. I had no cell phone to deflect conversation but usually the iPod buds in my ears usually deters people from engaging in random conversation with me....that is, except for HighSchoolBoy.

He blocks my exit and asks me if I'd like to buy candy for their school fund raiser. They're trying to buy new basketball uniforms. Anyone who knows me at work will know that I happily give money to anything involving school activities and children. I put my groceries down and ask them where they go to school. He said some school in San Bernadino.

Uh....what?

Sounds fishy but I remember something my dad told me a long time ago. He said that he never feels like he's being conned whenever people approach him for money if they have a good cause. His reasoning was that his intention for parting with his money is genuine because it reflects his desire to help those who are in need. He told me that what they do with that money is up to them and if they end up buying drugs/alcohol/whatever with it is between them and their God. What goes around comes around so may their God help them if they deceived him. I feel the same way.

I ended up giving them the few loose dollar bills I had in my money clip and declined their candy because I don't eat much of it anyway so it'd just go to waste. He thanks me and then says "You have the most beautiful eyes. That's what attracted me to you the moment I saw you walk in while you were on the phone".

Um. Okay. He must find exhausted pandas dead sexy.

He then asks me if I have children and if I do, he wished me a happy mother's day. I said I have no kids.

He then asks me if I have a husband. Like an idiot, I said no. At this point, I'm busy trying to figure out when and how did this become a Let's Pick Up Bonnie moment.

He asks me if I have a boyfriend so I totally lied and said "yes". He said that he hopes my man takes good care of me because a woman like me deserves it.

Okaaaaaay. It is beyond time to go.

As I'm walking away, he calls after me "Miss, I'd sure love to give you a hug right now. Would that be wrong of me and too much to ask"? I don't think I've ever walked away from high school boys so fast before in my life. Is it just me or are they getting ballsier and ballsier?

I decide to put some gas in my car. I no longer go to a particular gas station in my area because one of the attendants would always ask me out for dinner and comment that it is strange to see a young lady like me alone all the time. I felt like I had just sprouted a second head because apparently being single equals there is something wrong with me.

I go to the gas station close by my house. Usually the guys there don't say anything to me besides "How much would you like" and "Debit or credit"? Tonight, though, was not like all the other days, Tonight, the usually quiet man lingered over my transaction and starts asking me where I work, if I just got off work (I wanted to say "No. I just like dressing this way all the time. Makes me feel uber hawt like FIYAH!!!" but I decided not to. Mama taught me to be polite....and I am. Most of the time), where I live and if I have a boyfriend because he never sees me with a man whenever I stop by.

I honestly don't know what to say. Am I just especially appealing today in my rumpled, hospital issued scrubs? Are my Tired Panda eyes and bedraggled hair extra inviting tonight? What is it because I am beyond mystified.

Oh. You know what it is? I figured it out. It has to be the resistant acinetobactor from my patients on the isolation side. That's gotta be it. I mean, my patients, once exposed to this particular organism, can't seem to resist the onslaught of these particular germies so maybe these people can't either. Poor things. They didn't stand a chance.