Current mood:

tired

One Last Night Of Debauchery

This is where we went last night.
Oh. Em. Gee.
Craziness.


So last night was PharmCat's last official night out as an unmarried woman. Good times. The night started off at Hollywood Men. I've come to the conclusion that women are freaking animals, man. You stick a hot, oiled up man on that stage, give him rip away clothing, let him strut his stuff, flex some muscles and gyrate for a few minutes in front of a bunch of women and they go completely nuts. When the boys got off stage to work the crowd (literally and figuratively), I ended up sitting on top of the table so that I wouldn't be crushed underneath the stampede of crazed women waving fistfuls of bills in various denominations. I'm not joking. These women were shoving me and my friends aside so that they could get a piece of the beef cake closest to us. Holy. Good. God.




This is HotWhiteBoy. My friends fell in love this one.
..yeah, not too hard to figure out why. Haa haa haa!



Not to say I didn't appreciate the eye candy because I totally did. There were two in particular. HotWhiteBoy (which is weird because I usually don't dig white boys) and HotCopDude. HotWhiteBoy was quite a sight to behold but HotCopDude....I swear, I turned so red when he was on that stage. When that cop shirt came off and he slooooooowly ripped off that white wife beater...wow. And then he looked at me when swiveling that chiseled body around....damn....and then he threw his shirt at me. A sea immediately formed from all the other women's hands in the crowd around me but that ripped shirt flew right towards me. I caught it out of reflex. Nice. My sister thinks I should go buy a lottery ticket now. Haa haa haa! Oh yeah. HotCopDude is the guy in the picture for his post. According to their site, his name is Marcus but I think I'm going to keep calling him HotCopDude. Haa haa haa!



This is HotCopDude. Good lord.

You know, I almost felt bad for those boys because they were literally like pieces of meat being paraded out in front of starving she-lions...which would make them lionesses if you really want to be grammatically correct. They were being man handled as they were man handling the women in the room, their butts were being grabbed by other females eager to get their hands on muscles while they were straddling another woman as they went diving for dollars. Poor things.

But the highlight of the night besides sticking dollars into PharmCat's shirt for the hot boys to get? Seeing an 86 year old grandma get a lap dance on stage by HotCowboyDude. Funny how a man can instantly look uber hawt with a cowboy hat on. Kind of how like men just look automatically better to me with a baseball cap on or when they wear a suit. I don't know why that is. Hm. Anyway, moving on. The kicker was when she happily assumed the doggy style position and grabbed his hand to spank her. Oh yes. Grandma got down and I was still sitting my ass in my own chair. Grandma's got bigger balls than I do and I'm not too proud to admit that. Haa haa haa!

And then I went to Highlands for the first time. That's right. I was like a virgin clubbing at Highlands for the very first time. I have to say it was very interesting. Mixed crowd and music from the late 90's to early 2000's. Not what I'm used to but whatever. The Hollywood Men went to party it up after they were done with work but strangely enough they weren't as good looking with their normal clothes on. How weird. One of them told one of the girls "Hey, I remember your friend" but I have no idea which one he was because I didn't recognize him in normal clothes. I noticed he had really prickly arms when I standing next to him while we were all chatting and it wasn't until I was driving home did I realize that he had to shave his arms to give the illusion of being hairless. Weeeiiirrrrrdddd.

There was this one chick that was a bachelorette that I really wanted to stomp on. She kept waving her gauze veil thing around and whipping that shit around like she was a Bollywood star or something. It kept hitting my face and my friends' faces. I swear, I wanted to rip that thing out of her hands and gag her with it. So fucking annoying...but all I could hear in my head was "DON'T LOSE YOUR LICENSE OVER SOMETHING SO STUPID!!" Aaarrgghh.... * sigh *

Overall, it was a nice change of scenery. It was also nice to meet new girl friends and to also hang out with my girls from work in normal clothes and not scrubs.

It was an awesome night. My feet totally hurt today but all in all, it was worth it to send PharmCat off into the Land Of The Married People.